Utes? What is a Ute?

Judge Chamberlain Haller: Uh… did you say ‘yutes’?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, two yutes.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: What is a yute?
[beat]
Vinny Gambini: Oh, excuse me, your honor…
[exaggerated]
Vinny Gambini: Two YOUTHS.

Who hasn’t seen that movie and peed their pants from laughing so hard?

You didn’t pee? Oh.

Neither did I.

So, after three long…looong…looooooooooooooooooooooooooong days of travel, we roll into Salt Lake City Utah. We opt to stay in a hotel on night one, as we didn’t have keys to the property yet, and it was 10:00 pm. By 9:00 am the following morning (Friday) we are at the new place, moving our crap, er…stuff, in.

Its cold. Cold outside, cold inside (no one came over to turn on the heat the night before like we asked the property management to do…errgh), colder inside than outside…errrgh.

After 4 hours or so of unloading all the boxes and miscellaneous stuffage into the homage, its time to move the beasts. The beasts are as follows:

1) King Size Temperpedic Mattress, that when warm and upright, is like moving a giant square of silly puddy.

2) A Ratan and Teak Bar from 1957. Awkward shaped. Heavy.

3) 1957 Riviera Solid Oak Frame Hide-a-bed Couch. Ridiculously heavy. Almost killed 3 grown men coming OUT of the old house.

I, personally, did nothing to help with these items. In fact, I left to go to Target (yes! we have a Target). I drove around SLC for a good hour, never actually finding said Target and just headed back home, only to find out that if I had stayed straight on the street that we live off of, I would have run smack into it…errgh. Luckily, the beasts were inside, only having lost one man in the battle.

Over the course of the next couple of days, we unpacked, and unpacked and unpacked and unpacked (I think we accumulated more items mysteriously during the trip across, or some of our items procreated and produced offspring stuff), and had bags and bags and bags and (see where I am going with this?) had filled up our HUGE garbage bins (boy, they knew we were coming) with paper and boxes.

So. The bedrooms already come equipped with built-in dresser drawers. And bookshelves. And walk in closets. How amazing is that? So amazing that I have 4 dressers that I cannot put into the rooms.

1st Craigslist item: Dressers.

My laundry room comes equipped with a PANTRY (again, they know I was coming) and…a brand spanking new front load washer and dryer set. Hmmm…

2nd Craigslist item: My brand spanking new front load washer and dryer set. $1000.00 bucks, anyone want them? Used less than 20 times people. Seriously, I just bought these.

My kitchen is gorgeous. All Ikea cabinetry. Granite counter tops. Top of the line appliances. Space. Oh, the space. Love it.

Downstairs is the main bathroom, already decorated in…green and brown. Hello! Did these people sneak into my brain and see that my absolute favorite color scheme is green and brown and like plan accordingly? I fainted.

HUGE backyard with a play-set for Russell, lots of space for the 4 legged children and a garden shed for, yep, my garden. We have a HUGE basement that we shall call Brad’s Man Cave. Its his shop. ALL his tools fit in it. He fainted.

I have stairs. Not digging these, but I am going to get skinny, I just know it.

We have an office. An office/bar. Its awesome. The ratan and teak bar fainted.

As soon as I can get the straggler boxes out, and really get the house put together, I will take pictures.

Then you can faint.

 

 

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